Read the story behind the track on ANTI MUSIC
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Eccentric electropop duo Haethor just released their self-titled debut album and to celebrate we asked one half of the duo, Amy Owens (vocals/songwriter), to tell us about the single "Beautiful". Here is the story:
Most of our debut album comes from a place of wonder and introspection, remarking on life's penchant for unexpected change with equal parts pain and delight. But "Beautiful" is different. Howard's background in industrial music led him to create some music that was darker and more aggressive than any of our other tracks. When I first heard his musical idea for this song, I was both excited and nervous to tap into a side of me that wasn't stars and roses. But like any person, I have my moments, and I reached into my poetry vault to a day when I was feeling particularly resentful. I thought at first that it was narcissistic and petty, and that perhaps it would undermine my own internal conversation about my strength as a woman. It was a bit scary, even embarrassing, to think about putting these thoughts out into the world. I reached out to a couple of girlfriends to see if they had ever felt this way too. Turns out they had, and quite often. So, whatever I or anyone else thinks about it, it's an honest feeling. Since being open about this scared me so much, I knew it was the right subject for this song.
Recording "Beautiful" was tough. I was so intimidated by my own poetry and the aggressiveness of the song that I wouldn't even share the lyrics until I was in the booth to record it. Vocally, it is really difficult to sing, and I often had to pull the headphones several inches away from my ears in order to "scream" the chorus. But there was only ever one way to do it: heart out, soul bared.
So, out of what feeling was this poem born? One evening I came home from a night out, and I caught myself in the mirror and thought, "hmm I look pretty good today." But I was alone, as performers often are. It felt like such a waste. I just wanted to be noticed and adored like a girl needs every once in a while, not by a crowd, but by someone who loves you inside and out. Not only was I alone that evening, but I remembered that even in the presence of someone I loved, I was constantly rivaled by the iPhone, which is an indicator that a person would rather connect with anyone else but me. This song is a clear message to any would-be lovers: pay attention to your girl. Notice her. Notice the small things. If you do, you will keep her forever. If not, she will either wither in your presence or find sunlight somewhere else.